Our twins now know they are girls. And in contrast to that - they know they’re Parental Force (me and the hubby) are boys. They’ve always loved to share their discoveries and with verbal communication now in the territory of non-stop chatterboxes, declarative statements are the new norm in our household. For example, just the other night Hope announced (unsolicited) “I am a Girl! You are a Boy!” And my better half didn’t skip a beat. He retorted: “No, I am the girl and you are a boy.” And a mini-debate started as my other daughter, Makena zoomed around giggling.
For my part, I just smiled as I did our house chores. I recalled how we decided within a month of their birth that we were not going to impose stereotypical notions of what a girl was on our daughters. We asked (to the dismay of some of our chosen godparents and relatives) that we didn’t want automatic gifts of pink, bows, tutus, and tiaras. And the greatest compliment we received at our preschool evaluation with their teachers was that they can keep up with all the boys in the classroom. Our daughters diversely play with cars, dolls, kitchen accoutrements, and Legos. They also now at three years old are definite in their taste of loving tutus. And because they figured it out and decided without our prodding - we love it.
Quite consistently, they will ask us to do ballet. They will run and grab their tutus and ask me to put on a special song ranging from Taylor Swift to Tchaikowsky to the Frozen Soundtrack. And then we dance. We dance it out as a family. We stumble, plié, carry each other around, twirl and laugh. I’m convinced that as humans we are all disposed to love dancing, to love moving with complete freedom. I think somewhere along the line we lose that love and replace it with self consciousness and fear and inhibition. Ordinary moments in our house in the evening are put to song and dance. And even if I’m dead tired by bedtime, if they ask for a song, I gotta do it. Anything to keep the music in their hearts alive and always free.
I hope that every single one of us finds the extraordinary ability to just shake your booty on a whim. To put on your song of choice and go there - go there to that dance floor that is always yours. May you always dance - with or without your kids. And may you always challenge the limits of what it means to be a boy, a girl, a child and an adult.
Cheers - Marc
PS. Feel free to share your dance moves/ordinary moment gone extraordinary with us at www.flipitlife.com. For us parents, sharing is daring when we share our truths and it can help us try new ideas out in our family lives. As always, we look forward to connecting with you!